Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Pure State of Nature

While in college, I learned many good and useful things. I also spent some time, probably a bit too much, creating humorous acronyms and other memory-retention codes. My personal favorite, apart from the list of God's attributes which included gummy bears, is the "application" of Hobbes' Pure State of Nature to my school. It almost works, which is kind of sad. Anyways, for your (hopeful) enjoyment:

Pure State: Whatever is not a result of a voluntary act of a man. If you strip away everything that man has done, pure nature is left. There are seven things that are originally there:

Total freedom because in the pure state of nature I am not bound by law.

In college, Student Life is unbounded in its jurisdiction.

Alone: Man is not under anyone else’s rule. He has no natural bond with anyone else.

In college, Student Life stands alone because it only shares artificial bonds with the students.

Total right (ability/claim) to everything, including everyone’s body. The main reason behind this is the right to survival.

In college, Student Life seems to have a claim to everything, dictating what and where and who you can be. Of course, their reasoning behind this is your survival in college.

Man’s pure state is a vis existende. He is a force for existing.

In college, Student Life keeps itself in existence.

Equal to everyone else because we are all equal in our ability to kill one another.

In college, we are equally able to turn each other in to Student Life for lawbreaking.

He lives in constant fear.

In college, the Students live in fear of jurisdiction and restrictive laws.

He is in conflict with everyone else.

In college, all the students are competing for the same grades and scholarships, as well as the same escape from Student Life and the same people.

There isdiffidence, and diffidence leads to war. Thus, college's pure state of nature is war.

Also, another fun tidbit of nonsense written during my college years:

Skittles vs. M&Ms

The 7 Deadly Sins vs. the Hope of the Catholic Church

Red Skittles = Lust; Wrath

Orange Skittles = Sloth

Yellow Skittles = Greed

Green Skittles = Envy; Gluttony

Purple Skittles = Pride

Red M&Ms = Chastity; Patience

Blue M&Ms = Diligence

Yellow M&Ms = Charity

Green M&Ms = Kindness; Temperence

Brown M&Ms = Humility

1 comment:

  1. This is wonderful and hilarious! (FYI, "Hurtey" is Fr. O'Kielty's nickname for me.)