The Essentials Experience

A friend of mine recently started using Essential Oils, and she raved about how amazing they were and how quickly they worked and how many different uses they had . . . and I was happy they worked for her, but I was still fairly skeptical as to just how well they actually worked.  Then I went to visit, and I tried several of the oils myself, and my skepticism melted away.  Here are a few reasons why (and these are all true stories from myself and friends):

1. Elevation.  This blend does just that -- it elevates your attitude and mindset when you're feeling blue and helps you stay happy and joyful, or at least pleasant.  And it smells amazing.
2. PastTense.  This blend works wonders on headaches of all kinds, including migraines.  A friend of mine gets terrible migraines, and I had her try this oil.  Within ten minutes, her migraine had disappeared.  Sounds too good to be true, right?  Well, it isn't.  And this one also smells amazing . . . like cool and calming peppermint.
3. Balance.  This blend is great for stress and depression -- both of which apply to my life in various degrees.  I'm still waiting on my own bottle to arrive in the mail, but when I was testing this one with my friend during my visit, it really did help balance out my emotions.  I'm looking forward to testing this out during finals, which are rapidly approaching.
4. Deep Blue.  Have you ever had deep, hard knots in your shoulders that no amount of massages or gels or medicine will melt away?  Try this oil in a lotion.  It works wonders!  It soothes sore muscles, painful joints, and melts away the tight knots.
5. Lemon.  Breathing in lemon takes care of my runny noses within minutes.
6. Serenity.  This blend is for peace, tranquility, and, most importantly, SLEEP!  (I'm still waiting on my bottle of this in the mail as well.)  The few nights I tried this were the most restful ones I've had in a very long time.  I recommend it to anyone who has trouble sleeping -- students, mothers, children, parents, people who keep strange hours.
7. Slim & Sassy.  This blend helps increase your metabolism, especially in problem areas, and also helps curb your appetite.  
8. Peppermint.  Another "miracle" oil, peppermint takes care of motion sickness and nausea (as we discovered on a very long traffic jam) as well as giving you a "wake-up" boost if you smell it.
9. Sunburn.  A mixture of frankincense, lavender, melaluca, and lemon with coconut oil does wonders for sunburn.  I had a pretty red burn, so I mixed this up and applied it overnight.  In the morning, the burn was practically gone.  You can find the recipe here: DIY Sunburn Relief. 

You can also use the oils for household cleaning, for creating your own spa products such as lotions, sugar scrubs, face cleansers, etc., and as a plethora of other remedies.  Pinterest has been a lifesaver and somewhat addicting in this area.  You can view my Essential Oils board, or you can create your own Pinterest account here and start pinning your own oil blends.

I use the doTERRA oils.  There are other brands out there available.  The important thing to look for is natural and pure oils.  A helpful tip is diluting the oils with fractionated coconut oil or another carrier oil in order to make them last longer.  While an individual bottle may be expensive (depending on the type of oil), the power of a single drop is enormous.

Still not convinced?  Don't take my word for it.  Conduct your own research.  Here's a helpful guide for all the skeptics out there: A Skeptic's Guide to Essential Oils.  All I can tell you is that I'm amazed at how well they work for me, and I hope they work for you as well.

Till The Jar Overflows . . .

I posted a while back about how fitting everything in is hard, and it's easier if we imagine our individual life as a jar and all of the things we need to fit in as different sized rocks -- with God being the biggest, which goes in first, and then progressively smaller as the importance dwindles.  You can read the full post HERE.

Lately, I'm realizing that even if you put everything in the jar in its proper order, you can still overfill it and simply create even more of a mess than when you started.  But let me start at the beginning.

Over the years, I have prided myself on being able to multi-task and get everything done in record time, and with high quality results.  I have always managed to do my chores, and my homework, and play with my sisters or go to class, and work, and participate fully in extra-curriculars, and visit with friends, and spend time with my family, and still have time for me and recuperation.  I always hated saying "no" to someone because I hated the knowledge that they needed me, and I was being selfish by saying "no" simply because I was a little too tired or just wanted some "me" time.

Since I started law school, however, things have changed . . . rather slowly at first, but I'm beginning to feel the full effects.  When I started law school, my father hoped I'd finally be challenged -- that it would be something where I'd really have to work my brain.  Well, he was wrong . . . at least the first year.  And now, even in my third year, the classes really aren't all that difficult, by and large, so long as I study.  My hardest obstacle as far as law school itself is concerned has been overcoming my frank distaste for the whole area of education.  (I have never desired the path of a lawyer, yet here I am.  That's a tale for another time . . . but it involves the work of the Holy Spirit, and here I am finishing my law degree and pursuing the dream of being a librarian once I graduate.)  But back to obstacles, the law school classes haven't been all that hard, especially the first year -- so it's been easy enough for me to balance a 15-17 credit load with a 20+ hour work week on top of two choirs, an intense editorial position on an extra curricular, friends, dating, family, school clubs, babysitting, teaching piano lessons, and . . . well, you get the picture.  Even now, looking at that list, I can see why my boss is a bit worried that I'm overextending myself.

Thus far, I've been fairly successful at balancing everything in my life, and I've never really had to say "no" to anyone.  Sure, I was taxed to the max last year (including a roller coaster dating relationship, but thankfully that's steadied out quite a bit now).  I blamed all my stress and emotional breakdowns on the continual highs and lows of dating (since it was a completely new experience for me), but looking back, I begin to wonder if some of that stress came from the simple fact that I stretched myself in too many directions . . . like chocolate pudding spread across too much ham. (For that reference, watch THIS MOVIE.)  Sure, a lot of it was from the dating, but I can't blame all of my problems on that alone.  Especially since that particular area of my life is mellowing out, what with better communication and understanding.

Regardless, I was positive coming into this third year of law school that I could "do it all."  I was balancing 15 credits, an executive board position on Law Review, 20 hours working at the law library every week, a board position on the St. Thomas More Society, being schola mistress for two choirs, babysitting and teaching piano to three children every week, weekly Skype nights with my best friends far away, weekly girls' nights with my friends here, keeping in touch with family, and dating an awesome guy.  Sounds a bit tiring, I suppose.  But honestly, at the beginning of the semester, life seemed as "easy" as it always had been . . . sure, I was scheduled practically every minute of every day, but I could handle it.

Not so.  I had more emotional breakdowns this semester than I've had in my entire life.  (That may be a slight exaggeration, but it's fairly accurate.)  Most of them came unexpectedly, and I had no clue why I was crying . . . so I just sat there crying into Boyfriend's shoulder while he held me and waited patiently until I could figure out the jumbled mess in my brain of why I was so upset this time.  And without fail, the root of my stress and emotions was stretching myself too far and having too many commitments.  And so slowly, one by one, I began to let things go.  Well, not really . . . but I dropped one choir, and the other one has been waiting in the wings until life slows down a bit for everyone involved, including me.  Even now, I find it hard to believe I've made it this far without a complete breakdown.  And I know that's only because I've had such amazing people in my life who helped me through all those hard times.  You know who you are.  I love you!

All of this leads to my boss's comment the other day about how I need to take care of myself and not do too much.  At the time, I just brushed him off and said I'd take care of myself.  But then I sat down to think about everything I do, and I decided he's right.  I need to cut back . . . unfortunately, a majority of my commitments are year-long, so there's no backing out now.  But there are a few more things I can trim down so that I have time to breath.  Not that it's going to be easy.  Like I said before, I hate saying "no" to people.  Especially people who rely on me.  But I'm getting better at determining when and how I can best help people, and if I drive myself into the ground with an unceasing stream of "yes, I'll help you"'s, then I won't be able to help anybody.  And there has never been anything more relieving and wonderful than the beauty of saying "no" when I really needed to do so.  Sure, it still hurts a bit to have to "let people down," but I know it's for the best.

Here's to a new year and new resolutions.  To balancing life and focusing on what's really important.  To saying "no."  To giving thanks for the amazing people in my life.  To praising God for all of the blessings He continually bestows upon me.  To taking care of myself now and always so that I can be of service to those around me.

Butterflies

Most people who know me probably wouldn't peg me as extremely shy or insecure.  A bit more on the reserved side definitely, but definitely not an obvious recluse.  Which just goes to show how much a mask can fool the unsuspecting viewer.  I am shy.  I am terrified of meeting new people.  I'm still trying to figure out why.  My most recent theories are varied.  


A.  I'm scared of meeting people who may change my life forever because I like life the way it is (for the most part.)  


B.  I'm worried about being able to keep up with more friends than I already have.  It's really difficult to maintain close friendships with more than a few people, at least for me.  Which is partially why my circle of friends is so small.  Well, the friends I keep up with on a regular basis that is.  With the invention of Facebook and the like, it's been easier to keep up with all the people I don't see all the time.  And, of course, not talking to people for a while means that you have more to discuss when you do talk.  But I still worry about losing the close contact I have now if I add more people to that list.


C.  I think the biggest fear revolves around a rather huge insecurity on my part.  I know I'm not supposed to care what other people think of me (relatively speaking.)  I mean obviously I don't want to cease caring to the point where I sink into a murky pool of apathy and lax morals (not that I'm in any danger of that).  But I shouldn't care so much whether people like me or not.  Apparently, I'm a likable person.  I'm pretty sure I don't come across as someone who worries excessively about what other people are thinking (whether I admit it to myself or not.)  I can hold my own in a conversation with strangers, mostly by listening and responding vs. having a more active and vocal part.  Unless, of course, you get me going on my favorite topics like books, movies or Macs.  ;)  But anyways, I suppose it's some kind of defense mechanism, to a certain extent.  


I think it's safe to say that C is the most relevant and important issue at hand.  I've definitely gotten better at not needing to be part of the "popular" crowd.  I never was part of that group.  When I was growing up, I really wanted to be accepted by them - but we had relatively little in common.  I was definitely on a more innocent level than they were, for which I am forever thankful.  And once I made it to college, I didn't care so much about the popular crowd (especially after a year or two of observation.)  There is no way I'd want to be included in such a shallow group.  Of course, I'm sure they've all got good qualities of their own, but as a whole they seemed rather sad.  

So even though I've dismissed the "populars," I still struggle with acceptance in general.  I thank God for my friends who love me  just the way I am, even with all my odd quirks like a Barbie movie collection and the unstoppable desire to balance on sidewalk curbs.  But I worry too much that new groups of people will think I am strange, boring, or unsuitable for inclusion.  Rationally, I know that this fear is completely unfounded.  I shouldn't allow my past to infringe upon my future.  All I have to be is myself (even if I don't fully know who that is yet.)  


Of course, all this talk still fails to fully chase away the butterflies that invade my stomach whenever I prepare for a new experience.  My gut feeling is to burrow away into my hole so as to avoid any possibility of rejection.  And for a very long time, I willingly followed that feeling.  Due to the influence of my amazing friends, I am finally forcing myself to step outside my shell.  I know there's nothing to dread.  But I'm realizing that it's going to take a lot of time and effort to convince my irrational, emotional side of that fact.

Crying Is Therapeutic

I don't normally burst out into tears unexpectedly.  Of course, I used to do it quite often back when I was a control-freak child.  The slightest change to the plan used to let loose the overflow of salty water. Crying is exhausting, and I think I used to view it as a sign of weakness.  Maybe that's why I avoided talking to people about things that bothered me.  Because I knew that if I did start expressing my thoughts, I wouldn't be able to get all the words out through my choked-up tears.  I seem to have gotten past that combination with years of practice and experience.  I can now explain what's going on, for the most part, without dissolving behind a mist.  I've also become an excellent letter writer.  I've discovered that putting my thoughts on paper allows me to get all the emotions and inter-connected thoughts out before I am interrupted by someone else's questions or comments.  I find it much easier to express my feelings through the written word rather than vocally.  Plus, there is a much lower risk of crying when I'm not immediately discussing whatever the problem may be.


All of which means that when I do start crying unexpectedly, it generally means something.  Generally, it's just that I am deeply connected to whatever I'm seeing or hearing (such as when I watched "For Greater Glory").  Which makes it disconcerting to me when I'm just sitting not thinking about anything in particular, and all of a sudden, the tears start flowing.  Partially, I'm reluctant to admit that I don't have as great a grasp of control on my life as I'd like to believe.  Mostly, though, I'm simply astonished by how much current life events are really shaking me.  I'm on the cusp of a new life adventure.  I'm moving 2000 miles from everyone I know.  I've lived in two places my entire life.  The thought of leaving my core group of friends and doubling the geographical distance between me and my family is overwhelming, to say the least.  Of course, it doesn't help matters that I've finally begun leaving my cave and started hanging out with people on a regular basis.  I'm making new friends, and I have to leave them all behind.


Of course, knowing that this move is the next step on God's plan for my life helps a lot.  As does the knowledge that I can place all my worry in His hands.  But I'm still human, and whether I choose to admit it or not, I'm worried . . . okay, we'll call it what it is.  I'm terrified.  Extremely excited (mostly) as well, but terrified nonetheless.  And I guess that's where the crying comes in.  Crying releases the pent-up emotions (oftentimes ones of which I am unaware) in a way that allows me to admit how weak and frail I am on my own.  They allow me to accept the fact that growing up and moving forward is painful.  They open the gate to humility and the chance, once more, to place my worries and cares in God's hands.  Now if I could only remember all of this while I'm crying.  Practice makes perfect, I suppose.

Letting Go

There are several ways to deal with anger, frustration, sorrow and the like.  Some people retaliate with force and sweep a path of destruction.  Some people crumble to the ground and bemoan their trials.  And some people don't seem affected at all.  These last often take the most dangerous approach to trouble.  They force their emotions aside as they deal with the problem at hand rationally.  While it is extremely useful to have a level head when dealing with trials, it can also be extremely dangerous if you never release your emotions.  I've seen first hand how burying your true emotions beneath layers of sturdy masks can damage and sometimes ruin relationships with everyone around you.  If you don't deal with the entire problem, you may fall in to the trap of developing a sub-conscious grudge that will grow and grow until you can't stop it.  But I also know how hard it is for these same people to let go of their control and just allow the emotions to take their course.  So here's my advice:

1.  Keeping a strong face in the midst of trials can be a good thing, especially if you have other people leaning on you for support.  Everyone falling to pieces solves nothing.  Just be careful of how many people you try to care for.  If you are a generous and loving person, it's often hard to say no or to even realize when you should.  You have to remember that in order to help them, you must also help yourself.  If that means taking 5 minutes or 5 days away from everyone else who leans on you, then so be it.  You don't want them to become annoying ticks rather than the friends and family you truly want to help and support.

2.  When you do take time for yourself, find an outlet.  Get the emotions out so that they don't continue to build up inside your heart.  I find an outlet through my writing.  Or talking to a very close friend.  Remember that a true friendship has give and take.  You rely on each other.  Just make sure that you deal with the emotions and your own pain in a timely fashion.  If you allow it to build up for too long, you often either forget it or become too overwhelmed.

3.  Be aware that the sorrows of your past (unless dealt with properly) will probably encroach on your future.  Some trial that you pushed aside years ago may suddenly resurface with vehemence.  So please face your trials.  Don't use comforting others as an excuse to hide once more behind the mask.  You needn't face them alone.  You can always find someone to help you, even if you can't see them.

Basically, don't bury your emotions and forget about them.  Push them aside if the present case calls for it, but don't forget to pull them back in and find closure regarding whatever the issues may be.  And if you have buried issues in your past, figure out how to solve them.  Do whatever you can to ensure that your heart is no longer a potentially hazardous waiting zone for grudges and thoughts of revenge or depression.  Seek out the light, and you will find it sooner or later.

Silver Linings

You know those days when everything seems to go wrong?  Your alarm didn't go off.  Your fridge is empty.  Or your car just won't start for the third weekend in a row?  (Guess which one didn't happen today.)  I've decided that there are quite a few ways to deal with said problems.  You could just jump off the deep end and run around screaming and cursing the fates.  You could get extremely frustrated by how late you're going to be or how much money this repair is going to be.  You could just crawl in to a hole and curl into a fetal position as you suck your thumb and bemoan your sorry existence - the whole "woe is me" angle.  But none of these outlets are fruitful or helpful in any way, shape or form.  Sure, it might give you some small pleasure to curse your vehicle for breaking down yet again, but it won't help fix the problem.  Besides, it wastes energy.  So here's my solution.


Take ten seconds and just breathe.  In and out.  Allow yourself time to fully grasp the situation before tackling it head on.  Remember that broken cars are the reason we have car insurance.  So that when you need a tow truck, it's covered.  You don't have to delve into your pocket for loose change.  This is also why you have an emergency fund in your bank account.  Unexpected (and often costly) delays happen all the time.  Your best bet is to be prepared for the inevitable.  Sort of like bringing an umbrella on a sunny hike just to make sure it doesn't actually rain.  Of course, car repairs are just a part of life.  No use getting angry and frustrated over them.


So, now that you've established the problem and called the tow truck, you're probably wondering how in the world you're going to get all the places you have to be.  Most immediately it's the mechanic to talk to them about your car.  This is where the true friends and Good Samaritans show up.  They lend you their car with no questions asked.  You make it to the mechanics and back safely, confident that your vehicle is in good hands.  Other friends are more than willing to give you a ride places such as Mass.  Suddenly, your life looks less and less bleak.  After all, the sun is shining.  You got a day off to relax.  This could very well be God's way of saying "slow down."  


And that's where the silver lining comes into the picture.  What seems at first only an annoying problem transforms into numerous opportunities for gentle reminders that He's in control.  That you do have friends who love you.  Friends who would drop everything at the slightest call for help.  Friends who you would do exactly the same thing for were they in the same position.  So once you've got all your immediate troubles sorted out, take another ten seconds (or longer) and be thankful for the many blessings.  Your car will be fixed.  Your troubles have dissipated with the help of many friends.  And God has once more shown that you are not alone.

So, it is up to you to choose the silver lining.  Every situation has one, no matter how dark and dreary the cloud of trouble may appear.  You can choose to waste time, energy and your life in being frustrated by every problem that appears.  Or you can choose to offer up the frustrations and know that everything will work out for the best.  You can work through the problems rather than ignore them, and along the way, you will discover blessings you never knew you had or had failed to fully appreciate.